Courage and Grace

There is a saying that says "Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes it's the tiny voice that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.' " I think this is a lot like grace. At least for me. Grace for me isn't always a roaring and big and bold thing. I think it can be but the ways I am experiencing grace most right now, the ways I am seeking it and discovering it- they aren't in the big moments or the roaring ones. They are in the small and gentle ones. The baby steps. The necessary steps.

Two days of grace already looks different than I thought it would. At first I thought it was going to look really health and body focused and it's had it's part, certainly. I've filled up on fresh veggies and chicken and healthier things for me. I've taken walks and gotten outside and not stayed pent up in the house all day. I allowed myself to not get on the scale this morning because I knew it would set me off and I'd struggle today when I saw a number that I knew I'd be displeased and frustrated with. And so certainly, health and body has had it's focus. But so has something different.

So far, coming here- just starting it- instead of some of the alternatives- that's a whole lot of grace right there. Seeking help and support from others and not judging that or the need? Grace. Allowing myself the freedom to take some extra time wandering mindlessly through Target tonight vs packing in a bunch of extra work hours? Grace. Allowing myself to get a birthday present for Levi while at said Target because it was 70% off  without guilting myself into the ground because it's a horrible, tight financial week? Grace. Staring at the sunset over the river. Listening. Watching. Holding still. Grace.

So you see, grace doesn't always roar. But it's the little things- the little graces- that are what help us get through and survive each day. That help us- help me- to be here for another tomorrow.

Here ends the second day.